Victim or survivor? 
so they ask
Although how am I survivor? 
when I'm still haunted on a daily?
 As I answered yes! 
I'm a victim yet some how I'm the one criminalised

As if I asked to be invaded the way I'm bullied and scrutinized 
Victimized without choice but if it were up to me I wouldn't even want to be categorised as a survivor 
I would have just preferred to just live but no I'm just a living but dead inside corpse ,manier eyes would think me a survivor although I'm nothing but a victim 

The arousal and wetness pulled out by the touches and the plunches so addictive 
It's like thoughts of a lover that's broken your heart lingering on your mind 
Like the oppressors hand over your land, very vindictive 
Hormones and emotions doing God knows what but oh so very aggressive

My mind and body oppressed 
I feel like a caged bird in my own body 
Too many Someone's always on my apple thats not of their eyes but always pressed on , pressed against 
Like yes stack on , pack on your weight unto me invade my land , segregated my gates are... 

My likely to be nemesis has entered 
Body shuts down , mouth silenced as I scream from within if only this was an app just so I can jump on the settings just to edit , delete or atleast filter
Foreign voices speak to me as though I don't comprehend
They just don't understand the depth of an invisible wound it never stops bleeding 

Now everywhere I walk it's like vultures are forever preying on me 
Feels like I'm forever cat-walking into the lions den 

Oh what has become of me?
My confidence no where to be see I just I feel naked and ashamed 
No hall of fame but notorious here I stand , walking in the hall more like a tunnel of shame 

I can hear a little voice in me mumble "don't you know it's rude to stare" 
Don't pry , stop! Unhand me , unbrand me 
I wanna scream wait no I wanna tear them from limb to limb , my blood boils 
I can feel something of a turmoil had begotten me 

Oh fear the embrace of feeling too small 
It's similar to a fall of grace better yet the apple not too far from the tree .
Oh yes i sucked cowardness right from birth before I was ,was lost and abandoned from my should have been mother's breasts


By A . Zoya